I sat down to write a classmate I hadn’t seen in 40 years. How do you sum up an entire life in a few paragraphs? I hit the biographical points: Marriage, three children, several cross-country moves, some unexpected career changes, and pet additions. Then the unexpected, unthinkable happened, a divorce after 29 years. I moved into a small apartment on the third floor with my beagle Maddie. We took long walks under the huge trees that lined the pond by my home. About two years ago, I moved into the lower level of one of my birthday buddies. We live in a beautiful condo on a tree-lined street with nice neighbors and a cul-de-sac. She is upstairs, I’m down. The plan was I’d stay for a few years to cut expenses and pay off some bills. As of today, I'm Basement Girl.
The meme on the FB page noted, “You are what you planned to be five years ago.”
I can't really say this lifestyle is anything I'd aspired to…yet here I am. At this stage in my life, I pictured myself semi-retired, with a spacious home & yard to host Sunday dinners with children and grandchildren. Weekends would be filled with plays, craft shows, and church activities. This would be the time in my life when I would wind down. Instead, I find myself “amping up” with a completely new and different life.
People kept greeting me at church, in meetings, or social gatherings wondering how I weathered the recent storms of cancer, relocation, and finding myself single after decades. My answer was always the same, the Lord healed my heart a stitch at a time, helped me forgive where I needed to, let go when I didn’t want to, and embrace a totally new purpose.
Women started calling, stopping by for coffee, and ending up at my dining room table usually in tears. They helped me dive a bit deeper into the concept of grief and loss. What made women resilient and self-sufficient…I set out to find out. I studied, prayed, studied, and prayed some more. I went back to school and earned my MBA at Concordia River Forest. Along the way, something wonderful happened, I got my MOJO back and created a new story that gives all the glory to God.
Last year, we incorporated Blessed & Inspired. Our mission is to provide women with a path through and beyond grief. We are excited to bring you this ministry that focuses on women, two by two, together at the foot of the cross over the long haul. These women will connect, encourage and mentor one another through trauma to a new life with joy and wonder.
It is true, life certainly didn’t turn out like I planned. Yet, as I look around my 675-square-foot apartment, I do not find despair or disappointment. I find an opportunity. A chance to learn, grow and serve others. Life
is full of trade-offs: my kitchenette doubles as the laundry room and my office is in the sitting room closet. I’m making do because you are worth it.
Too many times women are alone and suffering loss. These losses range from the loss of a loved one, a sickness, a lost job, and broken homes. We call these the 4 D’s: Death, Disease, Downsizing, or Divorce. They believe the lies the devil tells them: they aren't enough. I’m here to tell you that to all those women who wake up alone on Christmas morning, you are enough. In fact, you are so important, God sent His Son to save you and die for you. You are cherished and you are chosen by God for great things and you are loved beyond words. Remember that.
In the meantime...you will find me in the basement chairing board meetings, writing blogs, and listening to the women that call me each and every day. Call me, Basement Girl If you know a woman that has suffered a deep loss and needs a connection, please contact us. If you would like to learn more about Blessed & Inspired, reach out to me at .