The following excerpt is from my journal…almost a year ago. You wouldn’t think the death of the little 30-pound dog would sink me. It almost did. That little dog was my sole companion, my reason to get up in the morning, and the one other creature on this earth happy to see me each evening and content to call it “home” with me. Now, without the dog, I faced the new normal, alone and adjusting.
"How are you doing?" I keep hearing this from many I meet. Disoriented is the best answer I can give. When the worst happens, it's always a shock; yet trying to prepare falls flat despite my best efforts.
Tumbling into the chaos of loss comes quietly and hurts more deeply than I planned. Ironically, unexpected grief takes me back to other losses in my life long ago. The familiar disoriented dread settles in for the long haul.
Soon I remember the antidote for that...the soothing quiet peaceful Words of the Lord play in my head in the quiet of the morning twilight. The Lord brings me comfort through the power of the Word.
Isaiah 6:1 says He was sitting on the lofty throne and the train of His robe filled the temple. The angels sing Holy, Holy, Holy to the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. The whole earth is filled with His glory. How is it that the God of the universe whose voice is like thunder, can create something so wonderful like a warm puppy for us to love and hold? Why is it that we love our pets so much? They do life with us while we read the morning news, walk on the way, or relax with a show at the end of the day. They do life with us for sure.
On this side of heaven life is not perfect. We experience a loss that halts us in our tracks: the unfavorable diagnosis, the pink slip, the relationship that crumbles. Disoriented for the moment, but grateful to the core, we know sunrise is coming and many adventures lay ahead. The miracle of God's love is that we love each other and His creation. As we reach outward, our heart expands. This blog is about the journey On the Way as we learn about ourselves and one another as we experience devastating losses and learn to reorient our worlds and lives to function, adjust and eventually grow into our new reality.
For the moment, my world is upended. My routines, habits, comings, and goings all revolved around this little one. Now, almost instantly and unexpectedly, I have to adjust to a new path, a new world, and a
new home. I know I am not alone although it feels dreary. If the robes of the Lord fill His throne and the expanse and the greatness are too much to ponder, I still know that He will reach down and gather His loved ones, including me, and give us strength and courage. Each day He stitches my heartache and the dread fades away to just contentment with great joy.
Join me On the Way through this journey of grief, where disbelief is suspended. Although our lives are upended, we thank and praise Him for being there with us.